“Who would I be if I weren’t seeking anything?” - Haruki Murakami
It is easy to want something. There is no effort or cost required. You can want to exercise, to check out a restaurant, or world peace. You can have as many wants as you can imagine. Without urgency or means, wants do not get addressed. So they stay exactly that, just things you want.
If you need something, it has a cost. Other things are put on hold for needs. Needs are known even if you don’t necessarily know how to resolve them. No one advertises needs. Someone might make you want a specific thing that solves a need, but the need is innate to the problem.
It can be challenging to know the difference between a want and a need, but typically a want is dressed up as an abstraction of a need. They claim to deliver the same thing that you need, but when you look closely they are only mimicking it. Social media likes? That’s a want. Real friendship and companionship? That’s a need. Likewise, you shouldn’t de-prioritize needs for wants. There is a stigma attached to seeking help if you are a man, such that you may not want to look weak. But as you can tell, that’s a want. If you need help, you have to do what is right for you.
The problem is that we are a society of wants. It is beneficial to want. If you do not want anything, you are like a monk and of no use to anyone but yourself. But we are, for the most part, not monks. We do not exist in isolation, but amongst a sea of others. Those others can also want the same things. Wants help drive us to goals that we couldn’t achieve individually, like going to space.
Needs are essential for an individual and wants are essential to community. A strong need is something that impacts you, and a strong want is something that impacts your community. Both wants and needs serve a purpose. Your perspective on wants should shift to questioning how they fit in communally, and your perspective on needs should be to prioritize them for yourself.